Recovery 101

Start here with 10 of our best topics about addictions and how to break them.

Welcome to Recovery 101

Learn how to use some key topics on recovery to help someone in your life who wants freedom from addiction.

Talking Points:

  • There are many types of addictions including; drugs, alcohol, sex and food. No matter your addiction, you can learn how to have victory over it.
  • Our tools work in 3 simple steps:
    • Find a topic from our site.
    • Learn about it by watching a short video.
    • Explore it in conversation with a group or mentor.
  • The discovery principle that guides all of the resources on our site is people will discover the truth as they wrestle with the information personally. In conversation, they can ask questions for clarification and start applying it directly to their lives rather than just be lectured at by someone.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. What are the circumstances in your life that have brought you to this series?
  3. What is the addiction that you would like help to overcome?
  4. How have you seen your addiction interfere with your life goals and relationships?
  5. What are your goals in working through this series? What sacrifices are you willing to make to have victory?
  6. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

Why Do We Become Addicted?

Addiction is more complicated than we used to think, and here's what you need to know to move forward.

Talking Points:

  • Addiction is now considered a disease that changes the brain. To prevent this disease and understand how to treat it, it’s important for everyone to understand how addictions form.
  • Psychologists are still researching the nature of each type of addiction, one thing is certain: The brain responds to all sorts of pleasurable substances or activities in a similar way. So that can mean drugs and alcohol or things like eating and shopping.
  • No matter what causes pleasure, the brain registers it by releasing dopamine in the nucleus accumbens, which is a cluster of nerve cells in the middle of the brain, beneath the cerebral cortex. The likelihood of becoming addicted to a particular substance or behavior depends on how quickly it increases the dopamine levels in the brain.
  • Over time, our brains “turn down the volume” on dopamine release. This ultimately requires more and more of a drug or addictive activity to get the same amount of dopamine released that would have been before addiction set in.
  • Steps to overcome addiction:
    • Admit you have an addiction and want to get past it, you have to establish why you want to quit.
    • Develop a realistic action plan. Wean yourself from your addiction slowly.
    • Identify your triggers. A trigger is anything that causes you to think of your addiction and might cause you to relapse.
    • Find something to replace your addiction. Once your addiction is gone, you may find it difficult to fill your time.
    • Distance yourself as much as you can from your addiction. Admit your problem to yourself and to a trusted friend or confidant.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. What sort of addictive tendencies have you struggled with, even if you are not addicted presently?
  3. What do you think of the statement that addiction is not just about willpower, but it is a disease? How does your view change how you react to addiction?
  4. What are “triggers” you’ve seen in yourself or others? What steps are needed to avoid these triggers?
  5. Why is it important to find a confidant and to admit to yourself that you have an addiction?
  6. Is it possible to break an addiction without admitting you have one? Why or why not?
  7. Do you agree that quitting “cold turkey” doesn’t work? Why or why not?
  8. What’s the most important reason to break your addiction or to help someone else through theirs? Explain.
  9. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
This topic is adapted from the Thoughty2 YouTube channel.

Surrender or Die in Your Addiction

Does a substance or behavior have a firm grip on you? Don’t lose hope. Addiction isn’t the end but a fork in the road.

Talking Points:

  • Everyone has some type of void to fill. addictions often end up filling the voids. It can be much easier to drink too much on the weekend instead of dealing with life’s stress in healthy ways.
  • One of the hardest things for someone struggling with addiction to do is admit they aren’t in control. To truly change an ingrained habit or behavior, one must be willing to do anything to get better.
  • Many people believe that surrender means defeat, but nothing could be further from the truth. Replacing bad habits with good habits is a crucial step toward recovery.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. What are some common addictions you see in people? Why do people often get addicted to these things?
  3. What are some addictions that may be “taboo” to talk about? Why do you think these things are “taboo?”
  4. What’s your experience with addiction? What voids have your addictive behaviors tried to fill?
  5. How has your struggle with addiction affected the lives of family, friends, co-workers, and others? Explain.
  6. Why is it hard to admit when we aren’t in control anymore?
  7. If you struggle with an addiction, what keeps you from surrendering? Or what do you think would keep someone from surrendering?
  8. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

Be Real or Die in Your Addiction

Eric shares the first key to overcoming his addiction - being honest about your problem in the first place.

Talking Points:

  • When trying to break an addiction, one needs to be real with who they really are. Look in the mirror and see yourself clothed in all your bad habits and flaws if necessary. This process allows a more realistic perspective that enables someone to clearly identify problems.
  • The next step in this journey is getting real about the addiction with others. Confession will begin to clear out that space in your heart for healing and provides accountability.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. How long have you been battling addiction? What have you tried in the past that failed to help you to get sober?
  3. What does it mean to be honest with yourself? When have you had to be honest with yourself?
  4. What does it mean to confess? What does it look like practically?
  5. Who are some people in your life you could trust to be counselors and mentors to you in your struggles? Why are these people trustworthy in your mind?
  6. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

Help Others or Die in Your Addiction

Eric shares the third key to overcoming his addiction - helping others.

Talking Points:

  • Addiction may have consumed you at one point, but walking close to another person while they make that journey can be the cement in your own recovery.
  • If you have gone through an addiction and moved beyond it into recovery, you have an incredible opportunity to serve others. Not only do you have vital knowledge of what another person is going through, you can also spot the holes in the road.
  • Finding purpose and helping others is a key to solidifying recovery. Look for those opportunities to help other people, especially those that are trying to climb to where you are.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. How can helping someone else battle addiction actually help you? Give an example.
  3. Why can someone who has experienced addiction and recovery better help someone who has an addiction? Name one example.
  4. What does it mean to have purpose? Why is having purpose important for living a good life?
  5. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

Overcome Addiction in Three Steady Steps

By seeking happiness in 3 positive ways, you can overcome any addictions in your life.

Talking Points:

  • The only way to overcome addictions is by finding other sources of happiness in the three of the following ways:
    • Deep human bonding. Focus on spending more time with real people, rather than on trying to connect with people over social media.
    • Meaningful work. Most people don’t like their job. The answer is not to quit your job, but rather to find happiness in doing things you love outside of work.
    • Sculpting yourself. Go work out at the gym, work on your social skills with strangers at a party, or practice self-control when it comes to what you eat.
  • Any small improvement in one or more of these three areas can really help people eventually overcome their addictions.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. What is the closest you’ve come to being addicted to something? How has that struggle impacted your life?
  3. When have you felt like you were lacking good sources of happiness?
  4. Where do you find your source of happiness now?
  5. Who are your closest friends and how do they make you happy?
  6. How satisfying does your job make you feel? Why?
  7. What other things do you love to do (outside of your job) that make you happy?
  8. What is one of the hardest things you do, but at the same time is the most rewarding?
  9. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

Coping With an Alcoholic Spouse

Being in a relationship with an alcoholic is stressful and difficult. It’s important to know what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Talking Points:

  • Alcoholism, like many addictions, does not just impact the user. Partners and children are also affected.
  • Al-Anon offers a variety of programs for friends and family of an alcoholic, from conferences to local face-to-face meetings, and even virtual support meetings.
  • If you are the partner of someone dealing with addiction to alcohol, it’s okay to seek help for yourself. You cannot do it on your own.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Read the following forum post from the Al-Anon Forum: I Learned I Am Not Alone. Do you feel alone in dealing with your alcoholic partner?  Explain.
  3. What emotions do you feel when you allow yourself to think about your partner’s alcoholism? How do you interact with those feelings?
  4. Why is alcoholism referred as a “family disease?” In what ways have you seen alcoholism affect your marriage? Kids?
  5. What are the dangers of not addressing these issues?
  6. Plan your next step. Write down a firm goal that includes a deadline for either finding a counselor or establishing a connection with Al-Anon or a similar group.
  7. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

When Your Kid Has an Addiction

When your kids are struggling with an addiction, it can be overwhelming and can upend the entire family.

Talking Points:

  • Addiction is a complex issue. It’s nothing like how the movies or TV portray it. You’ll need to research different substances and how they cause addiction.
  • “Hitting rock bottom” is not easy to determine. Some people can hover right above rock bottom for months or years. Others might hit bottom and then bounce back for a while, only to return to old habits again
  • As a parent, you’ll naturally wonder what you did wrong that caused your child to fall into addiction. That introspection can cost you important emotional energy.
  • You can’t forget to build into your marriage or to give time and attention to your other kids as you battle through this. The best thing to do is to find professional help, both for your addicted child and for the whole family.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Describe your experience with addiction. What has proven most challenging for you up to this point?
  3. What have you learned about treatment options? What is confusing?
  4. What is your understanding of the rock-bottom idea? Has the addict in your life ever hit that point? Explain.
  5. What are your biggest fears regarding this issue? How can you find helpful resources to support you?
  6. How has addiction negatively affected your family dynamics? What do you need to do to change those dynamics?
  7. What are some boundaries that have worked in your situation? What are some boundaries that have failed?
  8. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

Scientific Evidence to Quit Porn

Many people are not aware of the dangerous effects pornography can have on them and their relationships, and how dopamine fits in.

Talking Points:

  • Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is responsible for our need to seek rewards. It is what helps you to have the motivations to seek the rewards that come with achieving long-term goals.
  • Sexual stimulation is actually the most dopamine-stimulating activity we can naturally engage in. It raises dopamine levels as high as something like morphine would, and it can stay at that level for extended periods of time.
  • Each time you watch porn you bombard your brain with dopamine. This can cause your body to use fewer dopamine receptors, which means you’ll need more porn to achieve the same effect.
  • When you take a look at the science behind pornography addiction you see how truly detrimental it can be to your life, your sexuality, and your relationship with your spouse.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Have has porn affected your life or someone else’s? Explain.
  3. Have you ever heard someone justify the consumption of pornography? Describe the situation.
  4. Why is the use of porn destructive to healthy relationships?
  5. What are some ways to fight the temptation of pornography?
  6. What are some ways you can make people aware of the issues that come with a pornography addiction?
  7. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

Close the Loop

Ready to join the FLEXTALK movement and make an impact for generations to come?

Talking Points:

  • We start the mentoring “loop” by “inviting” someone into a relationship. People need investment. Just as you’ve been helped in your life, you can and should help others
  • We push it forward by “investing” in our friend. One good reason you should help others is that by helping others, you yourself will grow. To tutor math, you’ve got to master the lesson first.
  • We conclude the mentoring portion of our relationship by “empowering” others to go out and become mentors themselves. If you’re ready to help someone, there are a few questions to consider first: Are you healthy? Do you care about others? Are you willing to invest the time and energy to mentor?

 

Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Who mentored you? How did you meet this person?
  3. Why was being mentored a valuable experience for you?
  4. Why is it important to help others the same way we’ve been helped? Give an example.
  5. In what ways could mentoring others help you grow as well? Give an example.
  6. Would you say you’re in a “healthy” place and can mentor someone else? Explain.
  7. Think about your own mentors. Why do you think helping others is such a big investment of time and energy?
  8. Who are some people you might be able to mentor? Why do these people come to mind?
  9. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?