When bad behavior occurs, we need to be careful not to make our response to our kids the larger focus.

Talking Points:

  • As parents, our response to our kids’ behavior matters – especially when they become teenagers. We want to model the best behavior for our kids at all times, including in resolving conflicts that start with a poor decision they made.
  • Taking a break is the key to keeping the focus of the situation on your teen’s behavior and not on yours. While it may be difficult not to respond immediately, especially when you are upset by the behavior, it can lead to better understanding between you and your teen.
  • Plan a conversation with him or her a short while later so that you have time to gather your thoughts on how to respond to the situation. This time may also allow you to consult with your spouse to determine how to handle the situation.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Have you ever had a parenting situation in which your response became the larger focus? Describe the situation and the outcome of your response.
  3. How would taking a break have changed a recent parenting situation with your child? Explain.
  4. What should you include in the plan the next time you need to talk to your teen about something?
  5. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?