Why Does Marriage Seem Harder Today Than Ever Before?
This topic is adapted from the Your Tango YouTube channel.
Marriage is facing challenges today like never before in history. In our face paced society, meaningful connections and communication between spouses is needed more than ever. The only way for marriage to survive is by making it a high priority.
- The key to marriage is good communication. No matter how much society changes, this basic truth remains the same. Couples need to have constant connection between one another in order to keep their marriage healthy. Keeping focused on each other will help couples roll with any changes in the world around them.
- The inability to deal with conflict is to blame for failed marriages. Too many times, people instead blame the institution of marriage itself. Since people do not know how to handle conflict and anger, they decide to give up on their marriages. Couples need to learn how to deal with their negative feelings and fix their relationships, instead of just giving up their commitment to one another.
- It’s time to change from a vertical model of marriage to a horizontal model. The vertical model of marriage is where someone is always in charge of the other person. It is self focused on what the individual can get out of the marriage. On the contrary, a horizontal model of marriage is more like a partnership. It is primarily focused on the other person, rather than yourself. Conversations between partners in a horizontal model of marriage is more like a dialogue, rather than a monologue like in a vertical model of marriage.
- A healthy marriage makes a healthy society. If couples want to have emotional healthy kids, they need to have an emotional healthy marriage. Our society as a whole will even benefit from more healthy marriages. Helen Lakelly Hunt, Phd, says that a good marriage is, “the best upriver prevention for all down river clean up.” In other words, healthy marriages can prevent common problems that usually plague communities.
Couples need to make their marriages the highest priority in their lives. Marriages become the most healthy through good communication and constant connection. The best way to affect positive change in your families and in your community, is to work on strengthening your marriage.
- Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
- What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
- What are some of the challenges that marriages are facing today?
- How can couples better connect and communicate with one another?
- What advice would you give a couple that are fighting and angry with one another?
- What’s wrong with a vertical model of marriage? What are the benefits of a horizontal model of marriage?
- How can a healthy marriage make their kids more healthy? How can a healthy marriage make society more healthy?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.