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This topic is adapted from the FLEXTALK YouTube channel.

Be Real

Everyone knows the person who is nice to your face but as soon as you’re not looking they are talking behind your back. Don’t be that person. No one likes that person. Be real.

Being real isn’t always the easiest thing. It takes a lot of courage to be the same person regardless of who you’re surrounded by or the situation you’re placed in. It’s a lot easier to simply say what people want to hear, or do whatever pleases the crowd, but doing those things does nothing for you except temporarily impress those around you. You should value your personal character more than you value others’ opinions of you.

While there are many positive things that can come from being real, some negatives may come along with it. There will be times where you will be put in some uncomfortable situations. For example if your friend is stepping out of line and doing something you know he/she shouldn’t be doing, as their friend you’re obligated to step in and let them know they’re in the wrong. This can be uncomfortable and a little awkward to do, but doing so will help out your friend a lot more than simply letting them continue down the wrong path.

It’s pretty easy to spot someone who is being real. They are comfortable with who they are. Their self-confidence doesn’t waiver or depend on the validation of others around them. They genuinely care about others; they don’t simply put on an act. They also are not afraid to show their emotions and let others know how they feel.

How To Be Real

  • Don’t let others’ opinions affect how you live your life. Do you.
  • Identify what’s important in your life and what’s not important. Prioritize.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • Care about others, and show you care about them. Actions speak louder than words.
  • Say what needs to be said, not just what others want to hear.
  • Be consistent.
  • Don’t gossip.
  • Don’t seek others’ validation.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others for your own validation.
  • Take responsibility for your actions, don’t blame others.
  • Keep an open mind.
  • Don’t hang around “toxic” people.

[Related Series: Core Virtues for Students]

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Would you consider yourself someone who is “real” all the time? Would others consider you as a “real” person? Why or why not?
  4. Think of one person in your life that you would consider “real.” Now think of one person in your life you would consider “fake.” Which of these people are you more likely to hang around? Why?
  5. Think about your friend group. Do your friends know the real you? Do you know the real them? Why would it be important to surround yourself with genuine and authentic people?
  6. How can you be more “real” and authentic in your life?
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.