Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.

Planning for the holidays with your in-laws can destroy the heartiest marriage. Here’s how to do the math.

Key Points:

  • Many couples struggle with in-laws and the holidays, especially newlyweds.Your family of origin is no longer the “center” of the picture when it comes to your family. Your new family with your spouse and children are your center.
  • Recognize that your families of origin are stepping into your turf. You cannot please everyone and you have to make decisions based on what you and your spouse agree upon together.
  • Communicate clearly with each family. Make sure that you speak to your family and your spouse speaks to theirs.

Quote This:

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. -Josh Billings

See Also: Conflict, Marriage

Talk About It
  1. What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Briefly describe the current dynamics with your in-laws. What’s working well? What are the sources of stress and conflict?
  3. How have your in-laws impacted your marriage up to now? Explain.
  4. Why is it important to recognize that your new family is the priority over your families of origin?
  5. How do you need to get on the same page with your spouse about how to handle in-law issues?
  6. What compromises must you make with your spouse to maintain harmony and model a healthy marriage?
  7. How can you communicate clearly both with your spouse and with your extended family? Explain.
  8. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.