Relational immediacy means inviting someone to stop and reflect on what just happened relationally or emotionally in conflict.
Talking Points:
- Step 1: Make observations, not judgments.
- Step 2: Invite the other person to agree or disagree.
- Step 3: If your spouse agrees, move forward to solutions. If your spouse disagrees, make it safe or take a break.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What are the common signals you get from your spouse that reveals their annoyance or stress? How do you typically respond when you see those behaviors?
- What’s the difference between making an observation versus a judgment? What is a constructive way to present observations?
- Review Step 2. Why is it important to give your spouse space to agree or disagree with your observation?
- What is a productive way to respond when your spouse disagrees with your assessment?
- Do you think this tool could help you in your next conflict? Explain.
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
