Many husbands substitute anger for their real emotions so they don't come off looking weak to their wife and kids.
Talking Points:
- Anger is a secondary emotion – a reaction to primary emotions such as fear or sadness.
- Expressing anger gives you the illusion of control – in contrast to the vulnerability that comes with emotions like fear or sadness.
- Substituting anger for your real emotions doesn’t just destroy you – it erodes your marriage.
- Your wife (and kids) feel bullied.
- Your wife stops expressing her emotions.
- You never get to actual solutions.
- Your emotional health deteriorates.
- You (ironically) end up looking weaker, not stronger.
- A healthy marriage is marked by an emotional culture that avoids anger and embraces vulnerability.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- When was the last time you were angry? What were you mad about? What was it really about?
- Why is it easier to express anger than sadness for most men? Is it that way for you?
- Look at the list above about how anger erodes your marriage. Which of these have happened to you?
- When’s the last time you were vulnerable with your spouse or kids? What was the result?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
