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This topic is adapted from the Kristina Kuzmic YouTube channel.

Are you a parent? Has your child ever hurt your feelings or treated you badly just for disciplining them? Welcome to parenting! Being an adult is hard these days, and adding a child or two into the mix can create some stressful living environments. These conditions, combined with the everyday difficulties of life, can leave parents exhausted, making disciplining their kids especially hard.

Often, the weariness of life can lead parents to develop a friendly relationship with their kids purely to try and keep the peace at home.

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Parents genuinely care about their kids, and it’s hard when those little ones get upset. A shift in perspective is required when it comes to parents who use the “buddy technique” when parenting. If you are being a good mom or dad and disciplining your kids appropriately, they will get mad at you. It’s unavoidable.

The hard truth that every parent has to come to learn is that kids need you to be the “bad guy” sometimes. Children need a strong figure that puts a foot down and shows them the difference between right and wrong and teaches them that no one gets to go through life without limits and rules. Eventually, parents will learn that their relationship will actually grow when they stop worrying about their child being angry with them for making tough choices with their ultimate good in mind.

Many people think that their kid is just too tender for strong rules and boundaries, but kids thrive under these conditions. While it may be painful for a while, the future relationship you foster will be one of respect and admiration. Your kids will learn that they have parents that love them enough to tell them no and stick to it. These kids will have better work relationships and more well-rounded personalities. Don’t be afraid or worry when your kids are mad at you! Remember, you are helping shape a fully-functioning adult, and those types of people didn’t get everything they wanted as kids.

[Related: The Ultimate Goal of Parenting]

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. Are you “friends” with your kids? Explain why or why not.
  4. Have you ever experienced your child being angry at you for disciplining them? How did it make you feel?
  5. What types of discipline work the best for your kids? Which types don’t seem to work? Share an example.
  6. How can being a firm disciplinarian help a child? Give one example.
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.