Have you been in a relationship with someone that feels confusing and volatile? It might be a sign that you're being manipulated.
Talking Points:
- Watch out for these 10 signs to know if you’re being manipulated:
- They constantly make you prove yourself. They are impatient, demanding and selfish. They guilt trip you frequently.
- They communicate passive-aggressively. They talk about you behind your back, or use a middle man for communication.
- They gaslight you. This means they make you feel like you can’t rely on your own memory. They will twist and reinvent the truth. This is a dangerous form of abuse.
- They are always “Just joking.” They take things too far and accuse you of being too sensitive.
- They play the victim. They make you feel like everything is your fault. They never believe they’ve done anything wrong.
- They kill you with kindness. They do favors to pressure you to do things in return for them. Their kindness has ulterior motives.
- They make your problems feel small. They always want the spotlight. They do everything they can to get the attention they want.
- They emphasize their calm, cool, and collected side. If you express anger or frustration, they stay calm in order to make you dramatic. They are dismissive of your feelings.
- They use emotional blackmail. They try to control you by threatening self-harm if you ever leave. If this is happening, consider contacting the police before things get out of hand.
- They take advantage of your trusting and sensitive nature. They target sincere and trusting individuals. They are good at spotting people pleasers who put their own needs on hold.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Have you ever had a friendship with someone that was hard and confusing for you? Explain. What happened in that friendship?
- Did this list of tools manipulators use surprise you? Explain. Are there things on this list that you didn’t realize are tools of manipulation?
- Do you think you may be guilty of using any of these tactics on another person? If so, what can you do to stop and make things right with that individual?
- Is there anyone in your life using these tactics on you? Is there someone in your life you can turn to for help in getting away from the manipulative person?
- Why do you think we let ourselves get into situations where we are manipulated? Is it something we can control? Why or why not?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
