This topic is adapted from the SketchX YouTube channel. This is part 1 of 3 in the FLEXTALK 101 series.

This topic is for anyone who wants to learn how to mentor using the free tools at FLEXTALK.org, and it will walk you through the first part of “The Loop”:

Notice at the center of the loop is the FLEXTALK logo. Think of that as the person whose life has been changed because you decided to mentor them. Great job! This series will help you create lots of those empowered people, and it all starts with the first phase of mentoring: the invite.

The Essence of the Invite

No one wants to feel like a pushy salesman, and many people don’t feel qualified to mentor. Getting past the “invite” phase might seem like a hurdle to you. Why would anyone want you to mentor them? That’s why it’s important to understand the essence of the invite.

When you invite someone into a mentoring relationship, you’re offering to add value to their lives. You’re not selling anything. You’re not pretending to be an expert. You’re simply willing to walk alongside them and explore a few topics that might make a difference in them. That’s the essence of the invite. FLEXTALK will give you structure and a strategy for mentoring, but at the end of the day it all boils down to one thing: relationship.

The Importance of Relationship

You may have heard the old adage, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” The best mentoring connections come out of genuine relationships. In fact, your only shot at moving a relationship past the “invite” phase is to be truly interested in who they are and how they live. Only then can you add a little structure to the equation.

Structure is crucial. FLEXTALK mentoring can’t happen without it, as we’ll see in the next topic. But relationship has to come first. Without it, everything else is pointless.

Building Your List

Now that you understand the essence of the invite and the importance of relationship, you’re ready for your first assignment: start building your “invite list.” Write down the names of the people in these categories:

  1. Who would say “yes?”
  2. Who really needs the help?
  3. Who could become a mentor themselves?

Once you have your list, the invitation is easy. Just invite them to talk. That’s what FLEXTALK mentoring is about: empowering conversations.

We’ll talk more about that in the next topic.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Watch the video together or invite someone to summarize the topic.
  2. What is your initial reaction to this video? Do you disagree with any of it? What jumped out at you?
  3. In your own words, describe the essence of the invite as a mentor. Would you accept that sort of invitation if a trusted friend extended it to you? Explain.
  4. “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Explain how you’ve experienced this principle in your own life.
  5. Start building your invite list from the three questions above. Who are the top three people on your list? Why?
  6. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.