The third principle for a healthy marriage is all about communication and conflict. Couples need to learn how to express their thoughts, feelings, and expectations in productive ways.

Talking Points:

  • Marriage Basics #3: Healthy couples keep talking. Communication – and even conflict – is not something to fear. With good communication, you can be confident that you can resolve your conflicts and grow closer as a couple.
  • Avoid the “fight languages”: Escalation, withdrawal and invalidation. These bad habits will derail healthy communication.
  • Embrace good habits: Use “I feel..because” statements, be an active listener and get to solutions. This will assure healthy conflict resolution.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. How have you viewed conflict in your marriage up until now?
  3. On a scale of 1-10, how often do you feel like your spouse doesn’t understand your point of view? In your opinion, what contributes to the breakdown?
  4. Which of the fight languages do you struggle with the most? How has that affected your marriage?
  5. On a scale of 1-10, rate your ability to use your words constructively. In what ways can you improve?
  6. Review the good habits of communication. Which skill do you need to work on the most? How can those skills help you the next time you have a conflict?
  7. How often do you get to action steps in your conflicts? What keeps you from moving forward?
  8. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?