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There are many gender stereotypes associated with friendship, but are they actually true?

There are a lot of stereotypes of girls’ friendships and guys’ friendships. Are there any truths about these stereotypes?

#1 Girls Talk About Feelings, Guys Avoid Them

There is definitely some truth to this one. Girls are more verbally social by nature, so it’s easier for them to talk a lot, whereas guys can sometimes be fine just hanging out and not talking much at all.

This doesn’t mean guys don’t talk about their feelings, because they do. They just have a different way of going about it.

#2 Guys Roast You to Your Face, Girls Do It Behind Your Back

It’s been said that girls can be “catty” and talk about each other behind their backs, and there is some truth to this. Girls are more verbal and more sensitive than guys in general, and they remember things and hold onto things longer than guys.

Guys and girls are fighting different sorts of battles sometimes. Guys often don’t have the same kinds of concerns as girls and might roughhouse a bit before getting over whatever it was they were arguing about in the first place. The truth is, girls and guys actually have different ways of thinking about and perceiving the world, kind of how like the old saying goes: “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.”

#3 Guys Act Tough When Girls Are Around, Girls Act Dumb When Guys Are Around

There is some truth to this one as well. A group of guys who are best friends can suddenly turn into a bunch of jerks when they get around girls and will look to one-up each other to prove who is the strongest. This is a kind of flirting, a way to impress girls by showing that the toughest guy is the one to be with.

There’s some truth about girls, too, and a lot of girls don’t realize why they do this. It’s also a kind of flirting! By acting weak and silly, girls are able to gain the interest of guys by making them feel stronger and more in control. It’s a way to get attention. It’s both cultural and biological.

Article for this topic by Daniel Martin.
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Key Points:

  • A common stereotype is that girls talk about feelings and boys avoid them.
  • In friendships, guys will roast you to your face but a girl will only do it behind your back.
  • Relating to each other, guys will act tough around girls and girls will act dumb around guys.

Quote This:

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. -Lucius Annaeus Seneca

See Also: Communication, Friendship

Talk About It
  1. What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Do you disagree with any of the stereotypes? Why? 
  3. What do girls do better than guys in friendships? What do guys do better than girls in friendships?
  4. Why do you think girls feel like they need to play dumb? Why do you think guys feel like they need to act tough?
  5. Make a list of your own friendship stereotypes. Which ones really stand out to you?
  6. In a perfect world, what would these friendships look like? How can you work to make that real life? 
  7. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.