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- The Over-Friendly are guilty of three large errors:
- They believe they must agree about everything
- Their praise is ill-targeted
- Their friendliness is remorselessly upbeat
- In Contrast, the more genuinely friendly keep three things in mind:
- Disagreement isn’t always necessarily terrible
- People only want to be complimented on things they are actively proud of
- That we are cheered up not so much by people who say cheery things, but by people who understand us
- The naturally friendly person uses their own experiences to think about the needs of others, while the over-friendly person forgets themselves in seeking to please others.
- In order to succeed at befriending anyone, we must first accept the risk that we may displease them by being completely ourselves.
- We must reconcile ourselves to the risk of not making any friends to stand any chance of making any.
A good motto is: use friendliness but do not use your friends. -Frank Crane