Your Kids and Comp Sports

Use this audio series to start conversations for good with your family, group, or mentor.

Series Overview:

Dr Travis Dorsch shares some of the parenting pitfalls when it comes to the 15 billion dollar industry of competitve sports… and how to adopt a healthier mindset toward it all.

Topic #1

Talking Points:

  • There is a trickle down professionalization in youth sports. Parents feel a pressure to spend more money to get their kids on the best teams in order to achieve in sport.
  • This dynamic has created the unfortunate reality that low income families can’t afford the same experiences for their kids which means they may miss out on opportunities available to middle to upper class families.
  • Parents need to be aware that they may have a dream for their kids that the kids may not have for themselves. Let the kids lead in what level of commitment they want to have and be okay with whatever they choose.
  • One day, sports end for everyone. That’s why the focus should be more on the life lessons that can be learned from sports versus just focusing on the level of achievement a kid attains.
Discussion <strong>Questions:</strong>
  1. Initial reactions? What jumped out at you?
  2. Describe your family’s current level of involvement in youth sports. How much would you guess you have spent this year on your kids’ sports?
  3. Do you feel a pressure to have your kids involved in comp sports? Explain.
  4. Evaluate yourself. Do you find yourself pushing your kid more than they want to be pushed? Why? How would you feel if your kid said they didn’t want to continue in the sport?
  5. What are some long term consequences for putting too much pressure on your kids in sports?
  6. What adjustments might you need to make in your approach to your kids and sports?
  7. What’s your action step based on today’s topic?

Topic #2

Talking Points:

  • Only about 7% of kids end up with an athletic scholarship so that means 93% of kids don’t end up with anything. And, many of those scholarships aren’t a full ride.
  • Parents need to take notice of how much they’re spending in comp sports because you may end up paying for a college education over the life of the sport.
  • The better mindset is to think about comp sports like you would a vacation. You’re paying to provide an experience for your kids. But, you can’t view it as an investment where you expect something in return.
  • The kids that go on to be successful in sport come from families where they don’t feel pressure to perform but rather enjoy the activity and learn important life lessons along the way. 
Discussion <strong>Questions:</strong>
  1. Initial reactions? What jumped out at you?
  2. Why is there such prestige in saying you’re a scholarship athlete? 
  3. Do the statistics surprise you about how many kids end up with an athletic scholarship? Explain.  
  4. In your opinion, what’s the difference between seeing sport as an experience versus an investment? 
  5. What would change about your actions and attitude if you viewed your kids in sports only as an experience?
  6. Why do you think kids are more successful when they don’t feel pressured by parents? How does that challenge you?
  7. What’s your action step based on today’s topic?

Topic #3

Talking Points:

  • Kids feel pressure to specialize in one sport in order to attain elite status but the research shows the opposite. Most elite athletes are multi sport athletes.
  • A winning mentality for parents is to be a great cheerleader no matter the outcome. Kids need to know that a parent’s love isn’t conditional. Communicate with your kids and regularly check in on how they’re doing and feeling in their sport. 
  • Parents also need to be informed about what the data says about elite sports so they’re not pressured by coaches to do things they don’t want to do. 
  • Every kid isn’t an elite athlete and parents need to be honest in their assessment of their kids. It’s okay for kids to be average and to have fun playing a sport without the expectation of a future in it. 
Discussion <strong>Questions:</strong>
  1. Initial reactions? What jumped out at you?
  2. Did you play multiple sports growing up? Why is there value to playing more than one sport?
  3. Has your family felt pressure from coaches to specialize in one sport? Explain. How have you responded to that pressure?
  4. On a scale from 1-10, how well do you do at encouraging your kids whether they have a great game or a terrible game? How would your kids rate you?
  5. Are you okay if your kid is just an average athlete? Explain. 
  6. What’s your action step based on today’s topic?

About Our Series

Series from FlexTalk are simple tools that empower conversations for good. For best results, we recommend three simple steps:

  1. Preview the audio (or video) on your own ahead of your meeting. This will help everyone prepare for a great conversation.
  2. When you meet, watch or listen together or invite someone to summarize the topic. Follow along by viewing the talking points on your phone.
  3. Use the discussion questions provided to help guide your conversation, but don't feel obligated to cover every question.

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