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- Sometimes couples need to hit a restart button, or take a time out from the direction their conversation is headed. It’s wise to identify a code word or phrase to shut down conversation before it gets too heated.
- From the moment the code word is said, no other words can be said. The code word means “I love you, but I don’t want to say something I don’t mean. We will get back to this subject later.”
- What happens to your body when you are in a conflict situation is that it goes into fight or flight. The blood flow leaves the brain and goes to other areas of the body. You lose the ability for creative thought processing and listening skills.
- Take 20 minutes to an hour and allow your body to calm down from the fight or flight response. Don’t turn to technology. Instead, try a walk, meditation, or even a small nap. Come back to the subject once you are able to have a productive conversation.
Conflict can have a positive side, one that builds relationships, creates coalitions, fosters communication, strengthens institutions, and creates new ideas, rules and laws. These are the functions of conflict. – United Nations Training Manual